Father’s Day

Amen. Well, Church, I think I have to settle a little bit. It’s so good to be in the presence of God, eh? Amen.

There’s something undeniable when we’re just in the midst of the Spirit’s presence and with each other. Happy Father’s Day again to all who are here as father figures, fathers in any way. I started off the service saying that, and I need you to know that every time I get the privilege to share the Word of God, I pray and I seek God and I say, God, what is the Word you want for your people? Because that is the only thing that matters.

You know, really. I think every person has, God has given this ability for people and He’s given free will. So I’m a firm believer that we have such ability to make choices and we can trust ourselves so easily in our sin and brokenness.

And we can come up and we can say, this is what the Lord wants in the name of Jesus. And I’m not saying I get it perfectly, but I want you to know, Church family, that whenever the Word of God is preached and in the process of seeking Him, I’m always, my desire and my process is that I seek the will and the heart of God for you specifically, for us, because that is the whole point. The Spirit is in the midst.

He’s gone before us, like we said, and He has a specific Word for His specific people in specific places. Amen. And so today we are talking about every man’s favorite word, love.

No? Not really? I said that and my husband Matt’s like, oh, my favorite thing. I pray that we will have open ears and eyes to see as well through the Spirit because I know what it’s like to hear a passage that is very familiar. And trust me, I wrestle with that and I share my process with you because when I was brought to 1 Corinthians 13, I was like, really God? Really? It is not only the most popular verse in terms of love and almost typical for certain holidays, but I just tend to not like doing that.

So I’m here going, Lord, please, I don’t think we need to hear from 1 Corinthians 13, but this is His will, not mine. So I pray that we will come before His Word with humility and with open ears and hearts to receive from Him today. And as I do that, I want to appeal to you quickly. When I say love, I’m going to say, I’m going to appeal to men for Father’s Day specifically, but obviously the Word is for everybody, of course, but specifically to the men in the room. When I say love, and you don’t have to answer, it’s just in your mind, in your heart, what are the things and thoughts or words that come up?

And I’m going to give you an example. So when I was talking to Matt about it in preparation this week, I said, you know, love, I was like, and to me as his wife, I say the things that pop out to me when I think about how you love us is provider, protector, and those two words.

And he’s more than that, but I said those, and he goes, oh yeah, that tracks. So for you as father, father figures, men in the room, what are the words or how does it live out and play out in your life? What does love look like for you? And for all the rest of us, what does love look like to you as you live or as you receive? And I want to ask you that as something for you to hold as we dive into the text today. And I want to give you a bit of landscape because often when we talk about love, we know where to go in Scripture, and we’re looking at it today.

But I want to give you a bit of a portrait, and I’m going to use myself as an example. Because as most of you know, if not all of you, I did not grow up in the church. But it doesn’t mean I wasn’t loved. Of course I was. I had family and parents. I lived in a house of multiple generations, actually. I grew up in a home with my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, and actually there was quite a lot of people. And my cousins, my brother, and there’s a lot of people in that house. It was filled with love.

But what love looked like in a Chinese Canadian household in Richmond Hill in the 80s was that my parents wanted to give me and my brother the best life that they could, right? And that meant provision, which means we have food, and that we have a roof over our heads, and conducive to traditional Chinese mindset and values. The best education you could ever get because that is how you succeed in life. So there were priorities, but my father’s sacrifice, my parents and family’s sacrifice, and putting their resources and time into things was to give us certain things.

Because that is how they loved us. And I’m so grateful and I honor my parents and I love them so much. But yet the reality is this. As much and as best as my family loved me and my brother, the love that they had to give and their understanding of love was not under the banner of Christ, right? So the reality was that no matter how much they loved us, it was incredibly limited. And you have to hear me. I’m not ungrateful. I’m incredibly grateful. But there’s sometimes a sobering reality as human beings, is that we as a church and a people of God, love is a word we use lots. And we say it and we are hopefully living it.

But when we look at the landscape of the world, love could mean so many different things to so many different people that sometimes it needs, we need to come back at every different part of our life, every season of our life, what we’re experiencing contextually, situationally, relationally, and ask God and ourselves, what does it mean for me to love right now? And what does it mean for me to receive from you right now? Because it’s not just this blanket statement, this blanket truth, where the gift of God, because He loved us first and He gave us His one and only Son, all of a sudden we receive and we’re like, we’re good to go. There’s a whole process and a lifetime of sanctification, which means we are in this eternal journey of getting to know and being more like Jesus. What a gift, right? But today, when I asked, what does love look like for you? It’s not to condemn or criticize, it’s just for you to know personally, this is actually what I think love is, or what I’ve thought love is, or what I experience love as, and they’re probably good.

But dare I say that the Spirit of God and the vastness of God’s love is infinitely greater, infinitely greater than our best effort to understand, amen? And that is what I’m challenging for us to say, that while we know 1 Corinthians 13, there is much that we do not in every circumstance in life, which is why it is the living Word, because He has something to say about us, to us, about the very thing we say sometimes that we know, right church? So I’m going to read, I’m going to start at verse 4 actually and read a few verses, but in the previous chapter or two in 1 Corinthians 11-12.

Paul is talking to the Corinth church and he’s talking about spiritual gifts, right? He’s talking about how it’s the Holy Spirit that distributes the gifts, and then he talks about the unity and diversity in the body, which is great, because it’s like the Holy Spirit, the same Spirit, gives all these different gifts to all the different people. So we’re not supposed to be the same, but it’s His to give. So for some people there’s prophecy, for some people there’s healing, there’s some people there’s wisdom and knowledge, but it’s the same God for the same purpose, right? And that’s why we’re the body.

But then we get to 13, which is where we are today, and he starts off and he says, but yet, and yet, I will show you the more excellent way. And then he talks about in verse 1-3, and I’m going to just like paraphrase, and he says, you know, I could speak in tongues, the languages of men and angels, but if I don’t have love, I am just a resounding gong. And he says, I can do these other things.

I can have mysteries and knowledge, but I am nothing. And I can boast, and it can possess everything, but if I don’t have love, I actually gain nothing. So he starts off with differentiating and saying, you can do all these things, church, but if love is not the goal and the motivation, it’s all meaningless.

And I know you guys know this, so stay with me. I know you know this, but I just want to bring that up as like the baseline, as where we’re entering, because this is where we come into the even more well-known parts of 1 Corinthians 13, which is love is what? The most used in weddings ever, even in outside of the church settings, because it’s such a clear and beautiful definition of love. But yet, there’s two words.

There’s two descriptions of what love is. And I like the New King James Version, which says, love is long-suffering, and that’s the other way to describe patience. Love is patient, and love is kind. Nancy’s laughing, because if you’re like me, oh, if you look at the front of my Bible, just as an example, if you can see this, I know my eyes are good. This word says patience. It says patience. This was a couple years ago at a different church where I drew a sticker, and everyone drew a sticker out of a basket of different fruits of the Spirit, and I said, watch guys, I’m going to get patience. I have patience. Yeah.

Long-suffering slash patience and kindness are the two things that Paul says love is. But then it follows with eight different things of what love is not, and what love does not. So love does not boast. See, let me just read this. Love is patient or long-suffering. Love is kind.

It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others.

It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrong. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

These attributes of love. This week when I was literally sitting at a desk reading this part and going, God, okay, in comes my oldest daughter, who is a tween, what they call a teenage, teenager, but not really a teenager, because she’s 10, but she acts like she’s 15. I love her.

I do, but she’s beyond her years in some ways. She comes in, and there goes the next two hours of my life of just attitude and things, and then they’re trying to clean the room, and then, oh, my goodness. I’m going to confess to you because I knew that this was exactly why I was experiencing it too.

So to tell you that while I’m reading about, oh, yes, this is what we need to know about, church, I’m sitting here with my daughter and having zero patience with her. In fact, I was so short and easily angered, it was appalling, and then I had to apologize, and I had to point to her and say, mommy’s reading about love right now, and I’m being awful, and I know you’re also being slightly awful too, but anyways, that being said, I wanted to let you know, like, it’s one thing, and I think that’s what Paul is trying to say. He says you can do all these things that are spiritual.

You can use and have these spiritual gifts of tongues, of miracles, of healing, and they’re all God-given, but if you do not have love, and the question is, is love something that gets imparted on you, and you’re like, oh, I’ve got love, or is it something, church, that we must be pursuing for a lifetime? Because frankly, even in 20 years of pursuing love, in one moment with my daughter, it seemed like I don’t know what love is. Does anyone else track with that? Because I do. Love is patient, and love is kind, but it does not, and I realize in different parts of my life, and as I speak, I hope you resonate, where the metric of being able to evaluate where we, where the Lord might be inviting us to grow, is not whether we are only loving, and only patient, and kind all the time, because what I realized with my daughter this week was a sober reminder again for myself, that the reason why Paul was saying kindness and long-suffering are the things you got to actually work towards in partnership with the Spirit, but the things that you don’t have to work on are what? How easily angered you can be, okay? How impatient we can be, how self-seeking we can be.

That, friends, comes naturally all the time, but we are not left on our own accord, right? Because this is not about work salvation. It’s not about working our way up. It’s about partnering with the Spirit of God, with a gift that He’s already given us, which is His love, and acknowledging in our humanity and say, unless, like He says in John 15, apart from Him, when He talks about Him being the vine and we are the branches, apart from Him we can do nothing. Yeah? That means apart from Him, we do not know what love is. Yeah. Amen. We do not. So it doesn’t mean you are saved, and your eyes are open. That’s great. You’ve been journeying with God for 20 years. You’ve been journeying with God for 50, 60, 70 years. Fantastic.

But apart from Him, whether you are 100 years old standing today, you do not have love apart from Him, because He is love, church. So when Paul is talking about love, he’s not saying it’s so easy. You just have to have these two things, and everyone’s going to get along great.

He’s saying these two things need to be pursued, because all the others come like this. And in some seasons, I would say, practically speaking, I would say as a young, a mom with young kids, 10 and under, easily angered is a big one. But there’s times even in my marriage, I would say the Lord really convicted me of why I was so angry and frustrated. Because while the things that I felt was rightfully wrong, I’m like, oh, I’m not saying anything that Matt would not approve of, by the way. But in a marriage, it’s hard. It’s work, because you’re trying to love someone, and you’re trying to be sacrificial and think of them first. And there was points in our life where I was like, well, but this happened, and this happened, and this happened. They did happen. But yet, I wanted to fix it, and it became self-seeking.

It became my way to resolve my pain. Does that make sense? If He does this, then I will feel better. Therefore, He should, and that becomes my expectation. Is that good and healthy, and does that work? No. But I did not identify that as self-seeking, because I held it as this is the righteous thing to do, and He’s missing the mark. How judgmental that was, and how controlling that is of me. And that’s just one example. So in moments, and in certain relationships, and in certain seasons, and demographics, and dynamics, the Spirit of God can and will convict us of certain things that we don’t have to try to experience, where we fall short of love. And you’ll say, hey, gently, you do realize that you’re being very quick to anger, right, with your in-law, daughter or son-in-law, with your grandchildren, with your friends.

And I say this because you go back to the reality of how pursuing love must be the purpose and the goal. And I think that for many times that I’ve read the last five verses of this passage, I have missed a little bit, and I hope it brings new light to all of us today. First Corinthians 13, verses 8 to 13.

This is the part where, when people do weddings, they end at love never fails, because it’s a good place to end. It really is. But the fun thing about scripture is that you don’t ever end reading when there’s a but next to it. There’s a but. That means the point isn’t over. We must continue.

All of it matters. The thought is not finished. Love never fails, but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail. Whether there be tongues, they shall seize. Whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child. I understood as a child. I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly, and in some translations, a mirror. But then face to face, now I know in part. But then shall I know, even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, which is love. These three, these three, but the greatest of these is love. Love never fails. Church, why is it that we need to pursue love? Not just because it’s good for us. Not just because we’re called to love God and love others as the most basic but important commandments that we’re given.

But when we read this, Paul is saying, why love is greatest is not because there’s a hierarchy and a checkmark and saying, love is like up here and it’s like 95% of what you need to do. And then you can have like two and a half percent of faith and like two and a half percent of hope and then you’re good. It’s not a percentage.

In the great, the great vast kingdom, the reality is we are here in part. And it’s, he repeats that a few times, doesn’t he? We talk about this side of eternity, which is earth. Yeah? Eternity doesn’t begin when we’re with God in heaven. We are on this side of eternity. His kingdom has come in part, but it’s not in full because A, Jesus has not returned yet. Or B, we get to be with him when we are passed away from this side of eternity and we’re with him in heaven now.

So everything we have is in part. Love and our experience of love is in part. But he says, why is it that love is the greatest? Because once we go and if we are on that side of heaven, we no longer need faith because we are seeing him face to face, church.

When you’re in the presence and with the father, you do not need faith. You have faith. He’s right there. And we do not need hope because hope is right there. That is the fullness. And he talks about being children. It’s like we are all children on this side of heaven. And when we mature in fullness and we’re captured in the fullness of the kingdom, only when we are there we will know what it’s like to be completely and completely known. The fact is we are already known by God himself.

But we don’t know what that fullness even is like in any way until we’re fully with him. Amen. What a glorious thing to ponder and to see. But why is love the greatest? Because love doesn’t end on this side of heaven, church. Can we grasp that reality? Is that the love that we have here and is the thing that holds us with God? Is the reason why from the very beginning he created all things. From the last couple thousand years of this history for us to the end times that we’re still living in now, love is what has never failed and never will fail because that is who God is.

It’s not an attribute of who he is. It’s not partial. It is who God is. God is love. So when we are with him on the other side of eternity we continue that love. Praise God for indeed.

And so friends that is why it is utmost essential for all of us no matter what age, no matter where we are in life to know not only what love is but the crucial, how crucial it is to be pursuing love at every point on this side of heaven because that’s the whole point. We can serve. We can do everything in the name of Jesus. And frankly Paul is differentiating here something else that’s critical. He’s not saying that the gifts are bad. In fact he’s saying those are given by God through the Spirit.

But love is not one of those gifts. Does that make sense? Love is not written and in here as one of those spiritual gifts that God gives to edify the body to build up the church. Do you know what I mean? He says some people get tongues, some people get wisdom, some people get this distributed by him alone. He attributes it. He distributes it. You come together. You’re the body. It is for the purpose of the church because we’re on this side of heaven. It is for the building of the people, for the edification of the body.

So it serves a purpose because everything we have is in part. So he has given us the help of the Holy Spirit to do that and it’s all his power. It’s all his gift. But love is not listed as that but instead Galatians 5. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Friends, love is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is not this gift that we’re just okay. Some people are just called to love. I’m not really but I’ll do it in part. You know it’s not like that.

It’s not like oh that guy’s got the gift of interpretation. That’s amazing. We need that in the church but you know he doesn’t have love but that’s okay. No it’s not okay. That never happens and should never happen because love is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Can we say that? Love is the fruit of the Holy Spirit.

We need to differentiate that because that’s what the Word says and when he talks about love in 1 Corinthians 13 he’s saying don’t put those together. Don’t don’t be slightly deceived and clump it all together because we easily could and excuse ourselves from loving one another the way that he loves us. That pursuit cannot end because there’s no way that we would ever get that in full on the side of heaven, right? We will but not here but he has not left us alone.

He has given us a helper but the other reason church as to why the pursuing of love is essential is because and hear me out. I’m speaking on behalf of my generation which is Janelle and possibly Brian and those of us and the kids that are downstairs. The reason why you need to pursue love church is because we need you. We need you. Go back to my story I told you in the beginning. I did not grow up in the church and that was the lot I was given but God saved me.

Glory to God. So grateful and I’ve seen that we got to baptize my mom. I told you I got to baptize my grandfather who’s no longer with us but is with Jesus which is amazing but this is all God’s faithfulness and goodness but what we don’t realize until we kind of break down life in its complexities is that because I didn’t grow up in the church I did not have spiritual mothers and fathers to embody and show me what love looks like in community, in the family, in relationship and honestly God has been gracious because he knows my story.

He knows your story. He’s given people along the way at every point. So I’m not saying that God doesn’t provide. That’s why the community of Christ exists and is needed. What I’m saying is that just like we can’t dismiss the pursuit of love as something we already know and have because we’ve walked with Jesus for a long time. Please do not undermine the value and the call for those of you who have who are seasoned in your life and faith because church there’s people in this body and outside who need you to show them what love is.

Amen. It is on you to be that for the generations to come. I feel like sometimes when I’m at home I’m flying blind a little bit because I encounter these experiences with my children and I have to stop and I’m going I don’t I don’t know how to handle this. God’s grace is definitely sufficient but yes I make a thousand mistakes all the time but I’m going and doing this and thinking time and time again I don’t I don’t know how to raise my kids in a church. I don’t know how to have a home where I saw my parents pray or I saw or experienced my parents praying over me and my kids. Do you not underestimate the power that God is going to do through you through the Holy Spirit when you live into that place with the generations that are beyond you.

We need you more than you ever know desperately because in a world where the young people and I’m saying like I I’m on social media but I’m not in between like I’m not a millennial but I am a millennial but I feel like I’m older soul so I kind of track with people who are a little bit older.

I struggle in this medium space because I see the benefit of technology to connect with people but yet I see the detriment that it causes.

I see the people who are 30 and under and the kids and the people and I walk with them outside of this church, what they see because the world is so global they see the things on the screen and on their phones and they learn about the concept of faith love and hope but they think that’s enough. 

Do you understand they think that that’s enough and when they go home and they’re in a home with non-christian parents or they’re at home with no parents they don’t get to experience a lived reality of embodied love the way that Jesus sat with people at a table the way that Jesus met a woman at the well and sought her out the way that Jesus calls people which is us to be with the least last and the lost the next generation needs you church we do and it’s a high calling but it can be only begin as you continue to pursue the love that the Lord has given and called you and it might truthfully going back to the first four to seven maybe they’re just annoying and and you get easily angered with the generation and that’s fair but that let the Holy Spirit help help for you to grow in your long suffering with us and with the next generation or maybe to you church needs to look a certain way because it is.

Frankly it could could be a better way and you can absolutely have your opinion but church this generation doesn’t need more criticism they need men and women spiritual fathers and mothers to walk alongside with wisdom discernment the Holy Spirit and most of all a love that is holding them and saying we are 100 for you amen. We are for you that is what we need and i’m not saying this I was like we need this i’m saying that is the call and i’m saying I take this for myself as I walk with some 20-somethings and some teens in our community i’m like oh again I wish someone further along in life earlier on in my time of ministry would have said jay-z you’re 35 or you’re 30 start pouring into that guy who’s 18 or that girl who’s 15. 

Do you i’m saying like i’m 43 and I look at at these 20-somethings who are just like um but they have this passion and heart and i’m going I don’t have much to offer but what I can offer is the things that the lord has revealed and shown and what I can offer is that it is about the future of the church it is about you and i’ll give you what I can and i’ll also share with you the things I  wish I knew when I was your age. So church pursue love in the way that the word illustrates and declares for yourself for this side of eternity because you bring who you are into eternity when everything else is done love never fails and love continues amen but while you’re here pursue love by living into your call for the next generation amen i’m going to close with this the words of jesus if you will receive this from john 15. Church, hear the words as Jesus said to his disciples as the father has loved me so have I loved you now remain in my love.

If you keep my commandments you will remain in my love just as I have kept my father’s commands and remain in his love I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete my command is this love each other as I have loved you greater love has no one than this to lay one’s life for one’s friends.

You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead I have called you friends for everything that I learned from my father I have made known to you.

You did not choose me but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit fruit that will last and so that whatever you ask in my name the father will give you this is my command love each other and all of god’s people say amen church fathers father figures happy father’s day please go in peace but also love each other god bless you.